Why the growing list of sexual harassment convictions will not change our country.

“we are schizophrenic as a culture, simultaneously celebrating everything and anything sexual, while also being aghast when people act like what we entertain ourselves with! We can’t have it both ways, destroying virtue and decrying the results.”

Something feels off to me about opening the news everyday and saying to myself “well, there’s another one.” We want to pursue justice but lets us not only limit justice to a courtroom. Is it not also Just to dive into the cause of this type of sexual behavior in our culture and work to address it?

I am FOR justice, no matter who it is for or against. TIME Magazine recently named their 2017 person of the year “the silence breakers” and acknowledged the incredible burden and wounds so many women (and men) have carried over years, not being heard, not being believed, and now it feels like our country may be in a place to listen and do something about it.

I’m glad that men are being held accountable, but all the convictions in the world will not change our culture. Changing the human heart and renewing the mind requires more of us. America is so hyper-sexed it’s not even funny. Our movies, our music and TV shows, we can’t even sell a stick of gum, jeans, or perfume without making it sexual. Do you know what this does to our brains?

Let me give you a few examples of how America will continue to feed into a culture of thriving sexual mis-conduct:

  1. Our Masked Virtue: We knowingly make and clean up our own messes. 

Take a non-profit like, Usher’s new look,  a strong and developed organization with ardent individuals dedicated to raising up the next generation of leaders. Focused on the dignity of all, respect and honor. While at the same time Usher puts out songs like “I don’t mind.” Why is the message in the music not lining up with the values of the organization?

“You can twerk while in a split, you racking up them tips, Your body rock and your booty poppin’, I’m proud to call you my b*%$#
“They be lookin’, but they can’t touch you, shawty, I’m the only one to get it
So just go ahead and keep doing what you do, do it”… “I’m just tryin’a cut her up, tryin’a bust a nut
Tryin’a take somebody b*#@**, turn her to a sl**
Tryin’a fill my cup, tryin’a live it up
Throw some hundreds on that a**, walk her out the club
(Yeah, h**) Uh, lap dance for the first date
Bet I threw a few bands, that’s third base
It’s okay if you work late, we can still party like it’s your birthday
We can still party hard in your birthday suit
Knock that p*$*# out the park like my name Babe Ruth
Shawty she just want a tip, I just want to see her strip
If you f*$^* me like you love me shawty you might get rich

Is this how we want to train our minds and our children to think about women? We can do better. We must do better.

2. Our  Entertainment and our Hypocrisy.

At the time I was writing this post, the number one song in America with over 75 million views on youtube  was “Rockstar,” by Post Malone Featuring 21 Savage.

I’m not even going to take the time to post the lyrics. It’s #1 because it’s the song that’s we listen to and stream the most.

We can do better. We must do better.
3. There’s too much money to be made for us to pursue Justice.
Porn is a 10 Billion Dollar Industry in America. (see source here)

“Bigger than the NFL, the NBA and Major League Baseball combined —” Pornography is proven to destroy and manipulate marriages. Porn distorts relationships with countless statistics that show it is nothing but harmful to your brain. Most kids are first exposed to porn at 11-years-old.


Men, woe to us if our thirst for a drink of justice is satisfied at the inditement of those being held accountable for their transgressions.  While at the same time we support a culture of objectification and hyper-sexuality through an intake of pornography, filthy music and enjoy watching films like 50 shades of gray that glorify a dark view of sex and women.
To our culture, woe to us if our head nods to music like “Rockstar” while at the same time we shake our heads and point our fingers at people like harvey weinstein, Louis C.K., Matt lauer and our growing list.
This post isn’t meant to just slam our country, people or organizations – Just to say should we really be that surprised that all this is coming out? look at us. 
 No blog post will change the world. So what now? I’m a teacher so there has to be action steps:
1. Be aware, have conversations, put things on the line when you see a culture of hyper-sexuality reinforced.
2. Support integrity and purity, look for it and encourage it. Set an example and lead courageously with respect towards women. I have an 18-year-old boy I helped get a job at Little Caesars, a few weeks ago he stood up to his co-worker and his manager for the way they talked about and touched women at work. I’m very proud of him and I tell him that often. Look for people in your life who have chosen to say no to supporting a culture that is over-sexed and pursued something greater.
3. Look in the mirror, we must examine ourselves. We may not be in the news for some gross misconduct but in what small ways have we supported a culture that knowingly develops minds to distort the way we sexually relate?
I’ve written 800 words to try and help us broaden our perspective, My dad captured it all in one sentence during a conversation I had with him about this. He said, “we are schizophrenic as a culture, simultaneously celebrating everything and anything sexual, while also being aghast when people act like what we entertain ourselves with! We can’t have it both ways, destroying virtue and decrying the results.”
We can do better. We must do better.

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